Why not?
by Konoe3
Summary: Orihime questions Ulquiorra about Valentine's day. He finds this and another thing very strange...I suck at summaries. Attempt to something funny...slight Grimmjow/Ulquiorra


Okay, this would be my first attempt to write something funny. I think I failed pretty much. Bloody fantastic. Anyway, I should say that I don't own Bleach, I just like it a lot.

If you have any doubts about Ulquiorra's behaviour, calm down, it all can be explained with** 'theory of chocolate croissant.'**

Reviews are highly appreciated because they would help me get my trashy stories better. Thanks XD

And I almost forgot - I really appreciate you like it, I really do, but I'm not planning on continuing this. It's one-shot.

**before you start to read**, I have little to say. Somehow-I have no idea how- when I sumbit new chapter that document manager keeps deleting words from it. I mean, like words. And If I try to correct it, another word just dissapears -_-'...so, if you really want to read it COMPLETE, go to dA please. I'm really sorry, I don't know why that FU*KING Doc Manager hates me!

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><p>''Ulquiorra-kun, can I ask you something?''<p>

Said arrancar looked at orange haired girl. He wasn't surprised, since every time he went to feed the girl, she asked various questions about Hueco Mundo. It seemed that despised the fact she was held there, another world was rather interesting for her. He didn't really mind answering.

''What, woman?'' he replied, pretending to be absolutely uninterested in whatever she wanted to know. Well, maybe he was uninterested. She blushed a little, like she was embarrassed , but still asked.

''Do you know Valentine's day, here, in Hueco Mundo?''

It would be a lie saying he wasn't even little surprised. She was held captive in the enemy's base and she cared about Valentine's day? For real?

''That day is known to us, but we don't celebrate it.'' he informed her , wondering what the trash she was talking about. She scowled, which made her look like hen.

''Aww, that's bad. I wish I was home. Then I could celebrate it with Kurosaki-kun. I'd give him a chocolate heart, and then I'd ask him for a date, and then…'' she began to gush over that trashy shinigami. Ulquiorra successfully tried not to look like he felt. Like he was going to vomit. Who the trash cared about trashy things that woman would do with her trashy boyfriend on Valentine's day?

He mentally scowled with disgust. Sometimes he felt proud of cool attitude he had. Cool like an ice cube, he thought.

''Valentine's day is really near. Are you gonna give a present to anyone?'' she asked. Ulquiorra didn't move a muscle, wondering if she was really that dense or she hadn't heard him when he said they didn't celebrate it. Wait…she asked him, Ulquiorra, if HE was going to celebrate Valentine's day? That woman obviously didn't like her life.

But it actually made Ulquiorra think about it. He couldn't think of anyone he liked at all. But he knew lots of trashes he didn't like. Like Nnoitra, Szayell or…yes, Grimmjow. If he had to choose one person he hated more than trashy low arrancars and another vermin, it certainly was Sixth Espada. Jeagerjacques was loud, annoying, clumsy, stupid, he showed no respect to Aizen-sama and he was challenging Ulquiorra all the time. Like he was worth fighting. While lost in such hateful thoughts, Quarta completely ignored Orihime, until she spoke.

''Do you have such a person?''

Ulquiorra forcefully stopped imagining things he'd do to Sesta if he was worth it, including ripping his limbs off and stuffing tomato into his mouth, and looked at woman.

''No, I don't.'' he said, keeping his stoic face as he almost grinned at the imagination of Grimmjow drowning in milk. Trashy panther.

''What a shame. I'd like to see Ulquiorra-kun all lovey-dovey with someone. It would be so cute.'' sighed Inoue disappointed.

''What?'' he simply had to ask. Orihime blushed.

''You know, you'd be a perfect uke.''

''Perfect what?''

''Uke. You know, like in yaoi.'' Now Ulquiorra raised his thin eyebrow. What the trash was the talking about?

''What is yaoi?''

''Etto…you know…when you have two guys in love and …'' she began, but Ulquiorra decided he didn't want to hear it. Not after 'two guys in love'.

''That's enough.'' He said. Orihime sighed disappointedly.

''But it would be so cuute. Ulquiorra-kun would be cute with anyone.''

Green eyes glared at her. Aizen-sama told him he couldn't kill her yet. Bloody trash. There were reasons why he didn't like anyone. For example

1)Liking someone wasn't cool and emo enough

2)Everyone around was a trash(excluding Aizen-sama, of course), especially Grimmjow Jeaggerjacques, who was idiotic jerk on top of it

3)He was Aizen damned Ulquiorra Schiffer, the 4th Espada. That spoke for itself.

With this in mind he closed his eyes and turned to leave.

''That won't happen, woman. Now eat. I will return within an hour.''

He was wandering over the corridors of Las Noches thinking about that conversation when he ran into his fated person. I mean Grimmjow.

Ulquiorra skillfully dodged and avoided crash.

''Fuck Ulquiorra! What the hell are you doin' here?'' yelled that annoying loud blue haired arrancar at him. Originally Schiffer wanted to say something like ''I could ask you the same thing, Sesta.'' In really cool voice, but actually…he caught himself starring at Grimmjow's exposed chest. Was he always that tall? Muscular? Well tanned?

''What the fuck are you doin'?'' asked Sesta scowling. Ulquiorra blinked and stepped one step back, looking into blue eyes.

'' That's nothing of your business.''

''Oh, I know! You skipped meeting, didn't ya? Muhahaha, and here I thought you were kissing Aizen's ass all the time!'' laughed Grimmjow, second to Ulquiorra rather stupidly.

''What are you talking about? Even if I skipped meeting, you should know, considering you're supposed to be there.'' Said Ulquiorra calmly,ignoring the second part of the sentence.

''I skipped.'' said Jeagerjacques bluntly. Ulquiorra blinked. That guy was just unbelievable. But then he thought he shouldn't be surprised. Sesta was that kind of person.

''So,what were ya doin'?'' asked Grimmjow again. Ulquiorra just stared and then mentally sighed.

''I told you it's nothing of your bussines.''

Grimmjow angrily growled at him. Ulquiorra was well aware that he hated him as much as he did.

''Why won't you just tell me?''

''Why do you care?''

''I dunno!''  
>''Then don't ask.''<p>

''Don't tell me to shut up, you emo freak!''

''…''

''Shut up, you fuckin' weirdo!''

''How can I shut up when I'm not saying anything, Jeagerjacques?''

''You're almighty Ulqui, aren't ya? Or is the only thing you can do kissing Aizen's ass?''

''Shut up.''

''You shut up!''

The door they were standing in front of opened and Stark angrily glared at them.

''You both shut up! I want to sleep so take your husbands' quarrel somewhere else!'' he growled and slammed the door. Ulquiorra just stared, thinking he hadn't seen Stark so angry before. But he was sure Primero was able to do anything for his sleep's sake.

''Oh, he sure can be scary, that Stark.'' Said Grimmjow.

''He's prima espada, I guess it's just natural.''

''Maybe.''

They both fell silent. It was strange silence. They actually talked normally. Strange.

''So…I guess I should be going.'' Said Ulquiorra quietly.

''Where?''

Oh, here we go again, thought 4th Espada. He annoyed looked at Grimmjow and sighed.

''To report to Aizen –sama about Inoue Orihime.'' he said. Grimmjow looked surprised.

''So that's where you were. I kinda envy ya, she's a chick.''

''Not really.'' Said Ulquiorra and turned to leave. Grimmjow just hmp-ed.

''You dunno whatcha you're missing. See ya.'' He said and walked away. Ulquiorra really didn't want to, but he couldn't help and looked back. Did he really just normally spoke with Jeagerjacques? Really?

He didn't want to admit it, but he had a feeling he was the one who has been provoking those quarrels between them. He always just insulted the lower arrancar. Not that he ever cared before. But now, when he looked at it, it might have been true.

With this on mind Ulquiorra went to Aizen.

Days went by and how they did so, Ulquiorra realized that his relationship with Jeagerjacques has been getting better. If he overlooked that unbelievable confidence of his, Grimmjow seemed to have a few good sides too. He was loyal. Even if he complained about Aizen's plans, he actually followed them. He was competitive, but it wasn't necessarily bad, because it helped him improved himself. And on top of it, his jokes were really funny. Ulquiorra didn't want to laugh, but it gave him hard time to not.

''It's tomorrow, isn't it?'' asked Orihime. Ulquiorra looked at her. Is she talking about that stupid Valentine's day?

He just ignored her.

''Oh, Grimmjow-kun stopped by yesterday. He was talking about you a lot. It was so sweet.''

So sweet that Ulquiorra wanted to vomit. But putting that aside…

''What did he say about me?''

Woman just giggled. Now that made Ulquiorra really worried what he could have said.

'' Let's see…he was talking about how he thought you were heartless jerk, since you always just insulted him. But he said you two are kinda getting along recently. He seemed kinda happy about it. And also said th-''

She was interrupted by opening door. They both look in that direction to see Grimmjow.

''Oh, here ya are, Ulqui. I need to talk to you.'' He said nervously.

Orihime blushed and covered her mouth with hand. Schiffer nodded.

''Well…are you free tomorrow?'' asked Grimmjow and shyly looked away. Ulquiorra gulped. The day after…he widened his eyes.

''I guess I am. Why?'' he replied, but kind of feared the answer he might receive.

Grimmjow scratched his head.

''I wanted to know, if you'd go with me to the World of Living on dat-'' he stopped when Orihime fell of her chair, blushing like a tomato and mumbling something like 'kawaiiiiiii' . Ulquiorra felt his heart stopped beating. Grimmjow cleared his throat and continued.

''Data research about Karakura Town. I really hate asking some favor of YOU, but Aizen told me to do it because I have already been there.''

Orihime sighed disappointedly again. Ulquiorra just stared. What was I thinking?

''But I don't have any experience with data research, so I thought maybe you'd go with me.'' Finished Grimmjow what he had to say. Ulquiorra took a deep breath. Actually, why not?

''Alright. I'll go.''

''Great! '' he smiled and turned to leave. ''See ya later.''

Ulquiorra had only a second to think before he spoke, blushing.

''Maybe, maybe we could stop on a ice-cream together.'' He said nervously.

Grimmjow gave him wide smile.

''Sure thing, Ulqui.'' And left.

Schiffer turned to giggling woman and gave her cold glare.

''Eat or I'll stuck it in your throat myself.''

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><p>Oh, you really read that? Amazing, I'm impressed you survived. Anyway, thanks for reading and accept my humble apologies for my poor excuse of English!<p> 


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